Musing of the unknown kind!

So it all starts with a phone call. he calls you in between work.. and acts all smug and sweet. You feel grand and the smugness becomes contagious.

then comes the wake up call. "I was thinking..." you know what they mean when they say that. In blue blossom, it translates to.. 

 " hey, i put my brain aside & was completely jobless. so I dug up a guys grave, just to check what tie he wore at his funeral... & guess what..  it was muddy brown"

I mean.. what is it with men & musing..??? For starters, they dont "muse" when the occasion calls for it,  and when they do.. its always about things you never wanna talk about!

so well.. blue blossom was "thinking.." 

"well, you say that I never gift you anything, right? But i do.. I mean, dont you remember me getting you a gift when you asked me the 100th time?"

"oh. yea.."(with a tone of vivid recollection), "you gifted me an MP3 player, the one that yor parents gave you. The same one that consumes so much battery that it costs you 10 bucks everytime you heard a song?

yea, yea.. i remember" (ok, who said I was an easy girlfriend.. stand up & take that back!)

"nO, im not talking about that one. I am talking about the best book in history... "the Double helix". You know it was really important to me. After all, my parents gave me that book, at a very important occasion of my life"

"ooo yea.. that one.. of course sweety, I remember that, but you gave it to me as a parting gift, before leaving. Couldnt carry it all the way beacuse my bags were full & there was no space. The flight had a max. limit 0f 24Kg each

& I had to practically pack my entire 20 yrs of existence, into those "Gibralter-esque" bags."

"Ok.. but what abt that ring I gave you.."

"ooo yea.. the one that you got from Hyd? the one that was your finger size. (I know Im fat, but all my fat is not concentrated on my fingers you know!)" 

"well.. umm.. what abt...???"

"okie huney.. time out.. Lets not get into that. Is there something else we need to discuss? I really ahve to ge see whether my agarose gel worked this time"

"yup"

Shoot.. what do you wanna ask?

"Do you love me?"

Deep breaths!

Sometimes, we feel such a huge void in life. Not really a void, something like a black hole that sucks all the happiness, and leaves you all messed up & "dark". The best part about these, is that, you cannot really explain why this is happening. Technically all is well.. right?

There is nothing that cheers you up, no songs, no accolades, no chocolate (if you pronounce this in the weirdest way, it will rhyme, but Im not feeling very poetic!). so well, today (rather, now), is one of those days. You cant explain it, you cant tell why its happening, (no buddy, it is not got to do with "that time of the month".. geez,, the way ppl think!), the only thing you think of is how to get past it...

hmm... okie.. DEEP BREATHS.

Breath 1:
Reminds me of the things that are WRONG...
Grrr... How could I be living like this. All bottled up & nebulous... No this must stop...
Breathe out

Breath 2:
Why.. why is this happening to me... why did I have to suffer a break up with the "nosiest" guy in the world.. & still feel bad about it... why...
Breathe out

Breath 3:
aww... I miss Ma so much..
As a mater of fact I miss all who loved me & were fun..
Breathe out

Breath 4:
Need to curb my spending habits... The Pink pyjamas with bunny faces & silky smooth feel were unnecessary... No.. cant let the weak moment of "impulse spending" hit me again...

Breath 5:
NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT...
Breathe out

Breath 6:
THESIS PROPOSAL...
Breathe out

Breath 7:
draw a blank..I have nothing to think about... gasp! what am I gonna do!!
Breathe out


Breath 8:
hmmm... looks done.. Im hungry! let me go get some coffee from GJ.
(faster deeper breaths)


Hmm.. teh breath list works fairly well... lets just put

"worries" under b numbered list, you know its not overwhelming. Its kinda' like Hugh Prathers "notes to myself".. only its like Talk to myself! . Anywhos, feeling a new lease of energy.. chal gulabo.. aaj teri basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai. Kaam pe lag!

heya...

Looking back at it,my blog URL is something so indi..!

Thats primarily because the crap i have in mind, may just be understood to a select few! Im not implying that only the "desis" will follow the incoherence, its just that tehy might be able to relate to it! so I start with a cliche! hmm.. how encouraging! So well.. "hai meri kismat" should give you a good intro to what Gulabo is all about.. The inetrpretation of the sentence can vary, based on what you feel and when.You can say "hai meri kismat" in jubilation (which is rare, but then..), or you can say it in utter disgust. So when you blame things on luck.. you get a boost, at least you can blame someone else for something you did! 

so anywhos.. sitting on my office desk now.. have tons to do, but procrastination gets the better of me. Have assinments, lab reports (& everything else in between) to do. Time is a constant and the variables are my mood swings and output level (no, im not a math major, you dont have to be a math mar to be bad at maths). the variables are further dependent on other variables. Mood swings, for instance is influenced by how people are around me. The people who irk me have made their lives better by sabotaging mine! so whats new again!!! and since the mood swings are inversely proportional to the amount of irking people. so right now Im somewhat maxed out!!! anyway, courage is not not-being-afraid, its about facing your fears. similarly, a good, hard workning person is the one, who looks at procrastination in the eye and says... SEE YOU LATER! okie, so thats what im going to do now.. lets see how that goes!