MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN

When someone gives you the scope to commit a mistake by saying.. “LEARN FROM IT”… that’s the greatest thing right! You can afford to make a mistake saying that you are on the metaphorical learning curve. In relationships though, its not a good idea to learn from your mistakes.

You see yourself becoming an absolute arse in a relation.. you get messed up at the drop of a hat, & become inexplicably somber, sad & unhappy when he says he cant call you tonight coz he has work…, eventually when you break up (for different reasons obviously), you tell yourself.. ok Gulabo, you wont let anyone do that to you again. Henceforth you will be a stronger person. You will be the one saying you are busy tonight, make him feisty waiting for that in-between-work SMS, or a 30 sec call saying he was sorry for forgetting to wish you luck for the exam, or listen to you about how much hate XYZ for being a manipulative bitch… “what did she do to you now… aww.. its ok.. she is just jealous”.. stuff that you got used to soo bad. You promise yourself not to be a slave of habit… or to let him take advantage of your dependency on him.

Then you promise yourself not be bothered & write elaborate blogs about your side of the story, coz you cant say it (not expressive enough,.. that’s gulabo for you). You also promise yourself not to expect too much from the relationship, coz mentally you are telling yourself that he will go away like everyone else. You resolve to never tell him to do anything, or to nag, or to make decisions for him… coz he hated that & you don’t what the next one to do the same to you. You make this elaborate list of to-do’s, and right & not-politically correct list…

Despite all the efforts, all the resolutions and all the “learnt from mistakes thingies… you end up hurting… more intensely each time. Wonder whether its me or the way I am when in relationships… SUCKS.